Spiders

I am deathly afraid of spiders.  I couldn't even post a picture of a real spider because I start shaking and yelling swear words.  So I thought Spiderman would have to take the place.  Thank you Spiderman.

Today as I was making my bed and picking up the room I notice a GINORMOUS spider on the ottoman at the foot of my bed.  Holy ____!!!!  What do I do?  Dave of course isn't home.  Alex is at school so she can't save me, dang it.  I'm on the phone with my sis who tells me, "Go get the Raid!"  I have no Raid.  But would have been good to have in a situation like this.  (Note to self.)  I run and get the vacuum and decide that it is too big to be sucked into the vacuum and who wants a huge spider in their vacuum that will come and kill you later?

In the mean time I hang up with my sis and continue to have a staring contest with the GINORMOUS spider.  I've been holding the vacuum going through my options while Avery is comforting me saying, "Scary, scary!"  (Good mom.)  Then it moves.  I swear it was coming straight for us so I grab Avery fumbling with the vacuum with bad words flying. (Again, good mom.)  So while I'm saying bad words and saving me and my baby it crawls underneath the ottoman where I can't see it.  This is worse.  Will I ever sleep in my bedroom again?  No.  So I have been calling Dave hoping he'll drop everything at work and come save me.  No.  He tells me to flip the ottoman over and put a bowl over it so when he gets home he'll kill it.  Thanks, Dave.  Good idea.  (Bad word.)

Still going over my options, I now have a bowl, the vacuum, my crying baby and a stick to move it off the ottoman and onto the floor so I can put a bowl over it.  I'm thinking at this point, "I'm tough!  I can do this!"  So I flip the ottoman over!  (More swear words eek out. Sorry.)  And no spider running for cover.  But then I spot it!  Hiding next to one of the legs.  So I spend another 10 minutes with the vacuum pointed at it, sweating and going over my options.  

Then it came to me!  I decide to drag the ottoman out the front door.  Brilliant.  

Everything went beautifully.  I dragged the ottoman to the door, opened the door very wide and carefully threw my ottoman outside into nature.  But don't think I didn't make sure that thing was off that ottoman and out of my life!  Yay for me!  

Dave says I have a problem.  I thought he'd be proud of his proactive wife gettin' things done and facing her fears!  Thanks for the support, babe!  Can you tell I can't drive and have way too much time on my hands?  44 days and counting.  I need a widget!